Who: Ginger Che
Occupation: Artist, Designer, Private stylist(gingerche.comchehowell.com)
Location: Malibu, California
I met Ginger in 2001 while I was managing a clothing store in Windansea and she sold her jewelry there. She was hilarious, absolutely stunning, and completely intimidating to me at the time. We became friends, but I didn’t get really close to her until 2003 when we both opened retail stores one building away on La Jolla Blvd. We talked daily at one or the other’s store, would often share lunch, and went strolling around  causing trouble-ya know, the good kind- all over town on the weekends. She talks straight, abhors meaningless chit chat and normally wears heels and red lipstick… oh and you don’t want to get in her way.
We always laugh…no matter what is going on, sometimes cry, and it’s not unheard of for us to laugh so hard until we cry.
We knew absolutely everything about each other, and I knew her well through many of the events you will read about…taking care of Marvin on her own, meeting Andy in Vegas, then having two children with him and going to their birthdays when they moved to Malibu. But we lost touch a bit with life transitions such as children and moving several locations. I knew of her health struggle and she knew of mine, but I unfortunately only saw her once or twice during these most difficult years. I don’t regret many things in life, but this is one of them.  But I can vouch for this:  when I did see her, she was still wearing red lipstick, looking stunning and being hilarious as ever. She might have been a frailer version, but she was still a radiant Goddess. You see, there are just some people that situations, people, even tragedy can’t take down. One of them is my friend Ginger. I am deeply honored to learn and share to all of you her full story…although she truly doesn’t need an introduction, and never has. You will see what I mean…
Sat nam,
Elise

1) Who are you?

I am a spiritual being having a human experience.  Within this experience I have countless flawless flaws, which I celebrate, embrace and also suppress.  For as long as I can remember I have always been in love.  My first crush was on my dad (when I was three), then on my uncles (his buddies/bros) when I was four whom I all had promised marriage.  Then, my first boy crush was on my mom’s friend’s son who was seven when I was five. He shared a piece of Big Red gum with me inside his mom’s closet while she was cooking downstairs in the kitchen.  This was in Taiwan where I was born and lived until I was eight-years-old. He broke the gum in half inside the closet between his mother’s blouses and dresses (which smelled like a second hand consignment store).  Suddenly, the scent of cinnamon filled the closet.  He told me that it was going to taste spicy in a sweet way and that it was his mother’s gum from America.   He added that  we were absolutely not allowed to have it.  It was at that moment that I completely fell for him and promised him marriage as well.

There was a skinny slice of light that cut into the darkness of the closet.  It shone on the gum’s red and silver wrapping paper inside my future husbands’ little hand.  My new hero let me smell the paper as we chewed on the gum in stereo.  Then, he put his little index finger (with dirt under his nail) on the silver paper, wrapped it around his finger and twisted it until it turned into a little wine glass.  He repeated that with the other half of the silver paper and “voila!” we had two little wine glasses. Both of them smelled like the gum in my mouth.  At the sight of these tiny silver paper glasses I was 100% sure that I would love him forever.  We pretended to cheers and drink, and we laughed.  Then, a  few days later I received a love letter from him through my mother.  I couldn’t read it as I had not learned how to read yet.  I asked my mom to read it to me.  She smiled the whole time as she read the words.  I, on the other hand, got more and more upset as I listened to her.  My handsome husband-to-be wrote that he missed me, that he loved my eye, my hand, and my ear.  I couldn’t believe it!  In an instant I jerked the letter out of my mother’s hands, tore it into a million tiny pieces and threw them onto the white marble floor.  There was something beautiful and sad at the sight of these little pieces of paper sailing down in slow motion to the ground…   My mom, trying to suppress her smile asked “…why are you so upset, sweetheart?”

I screamed in anger “WHAT ABOUT MY OTHER EYE???!!!  MY OTHER HAND???!!!  AND MY OTHER EAR???!!!  TELL HIM THE MARRIAGE IS OFF, MAMA!!!”.

…That is who I was as a little girl…and that is still who I am today.

I am neurotic, that’s why I practice zen.

I am impatient, that’s why I practice being in the moment.

I am fearful, that’s why I act courageously.

I am annoyed by people.  I even annoy myself at times.

I am orderly in a messy fashion.

I am spiritual but not religious.

I am critical but not judgmental.

I am caring but not controlling.

I am very proud but not arrogant.

I am honest but not mean.

I am a contradiction but not a hypocrite.

I am sensitive but I am also sensible.

I forgive but I cannot forget.

…I have always wanted to be more than I am,… I have always wanted to know more, see more, learn more, and I have always been excited to discover more…I have always been restless.

I don’t like being restless.  I like being calm.

I have always been in love with life and I have always been self-destructive.  I have always loved everything beautiful.

To me beauty is truth.  It is the brutal truth about the human experience in its darkness and in its light.  It is the human experience with all its contradictions.

I experience beauty when I am present.

I am most present when I create.

That’s why I decided to become an artist of life and create beauty in all that I do.

2) What is the greatest challenge you have overcome/are overcoming?

It’s not the first culture shock I experienced when I was eight-years-old (moving from Taiwan to Germany).  It’s not the second culture shock I experienced when I was twenty-years-old (moving from Germany to the US).  It’s not the racism I experienced growing up in Germany.  It’s not living in hardship and not having a childhood.  It’s not the challenge of learning a new language twice and leaving family and friends behind.  It’s not having been pregnant in highschool and becoming the talk of town.  It’s not becoming a teenage mom and not being able to hang with my friends.  It’s not having been heartbroken by the love of my life with whom I had my first child.  It’s not having felt alone and homesick for over eight years with my little boy in a foreign country.  It’s not working multiple jobs and putting myself through school while raising my little boy.  It’s not graduating university with high honors despite people not believing in me.   It’s not having my dream job and leaving it for my second marriage.  It’s not leaving my 17-year-old boy behind to move for my husband’s work.  It’s not two high risk pregnancies in a row.  It’s not not having uninterrupted or sufficient amount of sleep for over eight years.  It’s not not having felt rested for over eight years.  It’s not having to move twenty-three times in my life.  It’s not not having a father growing up and watching my mother struggle with a new language and culture.  It’s not going from wealth to poverty and making my way back.  It’s not losing my father without ever really being able to get to know him.  It’s not fearing losing my mother several times within a few years.  It’s not having to leave my little kids behind for months to help my mother recover from her heart attacks and strokes.  It’s not the worry I had for all my loved ones…

It is the life with the painful struggle of ulcerative colitis.

I was diagnosed with UC after my daughter Love was born in 2009.  I went to see the doctor after having had blood in my stool for months.  The first flare up came a few weeks after the diagnosis.  It was the most painful experience I had ever had and it lasted for six years.  I had been in pain for six years (sometimes with fevers, sometimes without).  The pain had been there day and night and I had been close to death a couple of times.  I would get a cold or the flu frequently and it would last for months.  Within these years I had seen numerous doctors and specialists, taken all kinds of drugs that they prescribed and experienced horrible side effects that added to my UC symptoms.

I was down to 85 pounds a few times (I am 5’5’), not being able to keep food in and bleeding up to 40 times in 24 hours from my intestines.  Sometimes, I would be so weak that I could only whisper, I would have blurry vision, and could not remember certain words when I spoke. With the continuous bleeding I also became severely anemic.  I was at times crawling, as I got better I was limping…and then I would have days again where I could not move at all.  The stabbing pain in my abdomen was at times taken over by migraines which lead me to vomit until all that came out was green.  I developed a stiff neck from the posture that the pain forced me to be in and had constant pain in my neck and upper and lower back.  The tension and fear which resulted from my high risk pregnancies manifested in my body over four years would burst out whenever I was alone.  The blood transfusions and the steroids had made my body tense and swollen.  I would explode in tears in the shower or scream from the top of my lungs whenever I was alone in my car.  Being busy with taking care of my loved ones I ignored all my body’s and souls’ cries for help.  Then, at some point, my left arm and hand became numb on a regular basis.  The spasms in my lower back became more frequent adding to the spasms in my abdomen.  My GI doctor at the time told me “…let’s try these and see how you feel.  You will vomit for a few weeks and lose your hair but your body will eventually get used to it”.  I was barely hanging on to life  and the drugs I had been taking for the UC had not giving me any relief.  “Is losing my hair and vomiting going to get me better?”, I wondered…

“…what if it does not work?”, I asked my doc.  With a friendly smile he said “Then, we’ll just try something stronger”.

That afternoon I decided to become my own doctor and started researching how to heal myself.

Yoga, stretching, exercise, bodywork will help with my neck and migraines.  Diet change, healing foods, healers, shamans, chiropractic, acupuncture, IV injections with vitamins and minerals  will support my intestines and my overall well-being.  Meditation, stories of resilience, seminars on self-love and women with wisdom will calm my mind.  Sleep will help my body regenerate.  I had some good ideas but I was so weak that it took me months and years to implement all the changes while raising my two little kids, creating beautiful memories for them, and keeping up with my life in pain.  Many wonderful people tried to help me.  Most people didn’t/don’t know what I was/am going through.  I hid/hide it well.  Even my kids and my husband have not really seen my pain.  I took every advice and tried every suggestion.  I listened to every healer, tried every suggested diet and took all kinds of supplements.  Everything and everyone helped me in some way.  The love from people around me kept my spirits up…but nothing was really making me gain weight or reducing the symptoms.

The inflammation continued to spread in my body despite all my efforts to heal.  I started getting stinging pain in my wrists, knees, ankles and toes.  My doctor told me that I now also had arthritis.  I also started getting rashes and dry patches on my skin here and there.  I continued to put on my make-up, my red lipstick, and my smile whenever I could.  I took many pictures during those years because I wanted to hold on to every bearable moment as I did not know if those were my last ones.  My pain forced me to live from moment to moment with gratitude.  I was just grateful to be able to see my kids.  With every moment in pain I continued to feel more humble about life itself.  I could feel that it could be taken away from me at any moment…any day could be my last…I realized how special it was that my children materialized through my body…I realized how amazing it was that life existed…how magical a flower was…a worm…the dirt, the clouds…the sun…the moon, …the stars…and beyond into space…I could go on and on all the way back into the worlds of the bacteria in my intestines… I was feeling deep within me, passed my pain how incredible it was that I could experience all this magic through this now painful body I was in.  Even though everything I did became extremely difficult and would take me 4-6 times longer than it used to-I felt gratitude.  Even though I was always exhausted as I was bleeding my life away I became grateful to be alive to feel the pain…and I learned to live with the waves of my pain day in and day out.

The worst arthritis attack came last June.  I dozed off  with my neck and abdominal pain and woke up two hours later as per usual.  This time it was not just the urge to go to the bathroom, there was a new pain which did not allow me to move any parts of my body.  I was not able to even move an inch without having to scream in tears.  My pain killers were in the bathroom only 8-10 feet away from my bed.  It took me four hours in excruciating pain to get there.

What do I do?  Where do I go from here?

There were three things I had not tried:

The chemo pills, colon removal, and FMT.

The answer was clear:  I am going to research FMT and try it.  The Chinese had been doing it apparently for over 4000 years.  Some records show 2000 years…but it’s definitely been around for quite a while.

My husband supported me in this decision and we gave it a shot, literally.

My arthritis pain went down by 50% only ten hours after the first treatment.  This was on July 1st, 20015.  My daughter’s 6th birthday was coming up (July 23rd) and she had asked me to be Wonder Woman at her “Superheroes and Reptiles” birthday party.  However, the pain was so intense, it smothered my optimism to be able to participate.  After the success of the first treatment I believed that I would have enough energy to be Wonder Woman for her.  I put on my Wonder Woman costume on her birthday and realized that I was not in costume.  This was actually my long lost uniform!

By July 23rd, 2015 I had gained two full pounds (!!!)  doing two treatments per week.  My cramps became less painful as well.  This was the very first time I saw real tangible improvement.

Today is January 23rd, 2016 and I am at 115 pounds, back to the weight I was before my high risk pregnancies.  It’s been over six months since we started the treatments and my arthritis is almost completely gone.  There is only some left in my wrists.  Due to five years of neck stretching the migraines have also vanished…the spasms have also left.  The numbness in my arm and hand have also disappeared.   The rashes are also gone.  I still have some of the UC symptoms that handicap me in many ways but I am no longer bleeding or cramping.  The stabbing pain is also no longer lingering.  I have a new doctor and I will have my next colonoscopy in four weeks.

3) What have you learned?

My near death experiences have enabled me to feel  how precious and fragile life is.  I have felt  that every moment is a gift.  I have felt  the importance of self-respect, self-honor, and self-love.

There were many moments throughout these pain ridden years when I wondered what I was being punished for.  I would go through all the events in my life to look for something horrible I may have done which I may be paying for.  As I could not recall or find anything I wondered if it may have been something from past lives I may not know about.  It wasn’t until I let all these thoughts of self-doubt go that I became one with my pain and felt gratitude for life.  I learned to be happy with my pain.  It wasn’t until that moment when the universe gave me more pain.  When I felt all this pain in every part of  my body, from head to toe… I decided to try something I thought I would never try when I first heard about it years ago.

I also learned something new about love.

I grew up adapting to the people around me and adapting to my environment.  This was my way of showing love.  I knew at an early age to watch my father’s mood swings, to watch his eyes, his body language… and adapt to him.  I always knew how to be around the different loved ones in my family and how to make them feel good and comfortable.  I somehow just knew how to make everyone happy.  This is one of my characteristics which I noticed when I was only three-years-old.   I have always wanted to make everyone smile.  I have always wanted to hear everyone laugh.  My mother is that way.  She may have passed it down to me.

When my current husband and I met we had an incredible spiritual experience which was undeniable.  My friend read a poem to him which became the beginning of our souls connecting:

She Buddha

by Ginger Che

Silence is within her

She cultivates herself

She educates herself

Giving birth to dreams, hope, and faith is her duty

She knows that nothing is stronger than love

She floats on the flame of life

She leads and she follows

She is nothing and everything

She is no one and everyone

Find her and feed her

Take your precious time

For she is within

YOU

We got married seven weeks after.  To show him my unconditional love I closed my gallery/boutique to work with him and went through two high risk pregnancies to have our family.  My first son Marvin, 15-years-old at the time and my new husband were not getting along.  My mother came to live with us for a year to recover from her heart attacks and strokes and to help me with a soon to be newborn (my second son True).  My husband and my mom had a language barrier and I found myself translating their conversations to help them connect.  I was in the middle of the three people I loved most, trying to connect them as much as I could.  Unable to make them all happy I started feeling pain in my stomach and in my throat on a daily basis.  I was also dealing with the in and outs of my high risk pregnancy.  I just wanted to give all my love to my loved ones and make everyone feel great.  I became so radical in my way of showing this love that I slowly excluded myself more and more (which I believe was the result of the high risk pregnancies).  This behavior set the stage for high expectations, resentment and eventually led to self-induced pain.  I denied my soul and my body of their needs because of what I thought was “the ultimate act of love”.  In all my effort to love I had also completely ignored and forgotten about

She Buddha.

This pain I created for myself ultimately led to dis-ease.

What have I learned?

I have learned to remember to include myself as one of my loved ones and to never disregard myself again.  I have learned that I am the only person responsible for my happiness.  I have learned to never disrespect myself again.  I have learned that making myself small in order to make someone else feel bigger has nothing to do with love.  I have learned that this behavior was an act of dishonor to myself and that it was the root of my disease.

All that being said I have to add that I have no regrets.  I have no regrets because I have always followed my intuition.  My intuition took me down this path so I could learn my lesson.   Even though, it’s been such a bumpy and painful ride… somehow, deep in my soul  I know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be and learning what I am supposed to learn.  I believe that I was given this lesson so that I will not pass this behavior  down to my children.  This behavior that may have lasted for many generations before me ends right here.

Amongst all the wise women who have cheered me on in my struggle there has been one Wonder Woman who sent me a book one day out of which I took a small  paragraph and made it my mantra.  Every time I read it it brings tears to my eyes.  I had been trying to find out why these words made me cry (and they still do).  I came to the conclusion that my tears reflect the fact that I had mistreated myself in a million ways.

Here it is:

In this world and all others,

I know that I’m cherished beyond measure.

Within this bright light of awareness I allow myself,

my natural gifts to rise to my consciousness,

and provide healing to myself

and all beings throughout the universe.

It is true what they say: ”No pain, no gain”.

The universe dropped some heavy duty growing pains on me.

This Wonder Woman has gained.

For all you fellow undercover Wonder Women out there: I cheer you on!!!  I cheer you on to be strong.  I cheer you on to love yourselves.  I cheer you on to respect yourselves.  I cheer you on  to honor yourselves.  I cheer you on to forgive yourselves and I cheer you on to see the beauty in it all.  You are worthy.  You are important.  You matter.  YOU ARE the MANIFESTATION of

LOVE.

 

 

 

 

I met Jessica on the, ah-hem… throat clear, internet.  It’s not what it sounds like, but it is true.  And we are now real friends. Social media gets a bad rap for too many selfies, superficiality, comparison, and many other things. But just like everything else, it is what you make it.  I see it as a conduit to share whatever is important to you, and that means different things to different people. Over the summer, I had a conversation with my good friend Cyrus who helped me get really clear about what my intention and purpose was on social media. I want to help, inspire, comfort, and be authentic.  Ever since then,  I have discovered some of the most dynamic and encouraging people I have ever “met”  on the internet and made countless meaningful connections. Jessica is one of them. In fact, I had my idea of Worthy Women for awhile, but when one of us starting following the other on Instagram and then connected through DM and then a phone conversation… I knew I had to start the blog. She was my Worthy Women muse, if you will 😉

So thank you Jessica; you are a Warrior Princess… kind, graceful and creative- yet unafraid and raw…everything a woman inspires to be 🙂

 

Sat nam,

Elise

 

 

Cure-Designs

 

 

Who: Jessica Cure

Occupation: (Cure Design) creating healing spaces

Location: California/Colorado

 

1) Who are you?

I am perfectly flawed – in my perfection I have the power to succeed and in my flaws I have the power the inspire.

 

2) What is the greatest challenge you have overcome/are overcoming?

This is a tough one because I feel like there have been multiple challenges that all have seemingly intertwined themselves into one. I believe it started with the idea that I needed to strive for the version of success I was told I was headed for. I was a perfectionist to the T, growing up with the sub-conscious beliefs that these collection of perfect skills somehow made me good and valuable. Although learning and setting goals for myself have been great for my life, it was the goals I had that were off course. These needs I had were disillusioned by the world of consumerism, media and the “perfect” looking woman.

I had my first flare with Ulcerative Colitis when I was 15 years old. I remember taking my AP World History Final while running between the bathroom and lying on the classroom floor. I struggled with pain early on and thought I just would learn to live with it, not putting much thought into what was making this pain worse. Fast forward ten years where I was living a life towards these “ultimate” goals, with the beautiful home, fancy car, regiment workout and eating schedule to keep myself looking a certain way, which would facilitate more success in a very dissatisfying lifestyle. I began to get sicker and sicker both mentally and physically. I was so sick with Ulcerative Colitis that I ended up passing out making my bed, and was rushed to the hospital where I was pumped with drugs and sent home only to get worse. I was flown back to California, where I am from, to be admitted to a hospital with a severe C-difficile infection screaming in pain. Looking back on this it almost doesn’t seem real, but this moment changed me forever.

Deep down I had always known I wasn’t meant for that sort of living. I loved nature, art and travel. I wanted to help others and share. I wanted to follow a path with deeper purpose and connection to the earth. I was looking around me stuck in a hospital bed in isolation feeling like a science project gone wrong. How could this be what life was meant for? It wasn’t! I started researching and reaching out to anyone I knew with guidance and answers. I suddenly realized the people that had come into my life, who I had always felt a deep connection with, were the healers… and then went to them for support. I looked to the internet and found some great mentors such as Christine Roseberry, Just Glowing with Health, who sent me the book The Live Food Factor. I started to chip away at my life and began releasing what wasn’t good for me and trusting that the answers would come. I remember crying in yoga class every day, as I told myself to let go of this or let go of that. Asking for guidance of what to do next and feeling very alone. THIS WAS THE HARDEST THING I EVER DID AND AM STILL WORKING ON. TRUSTING. Trusting that letting go and following my intuitions was going to be ok, was major work for me. I had a lot of toxic relationships that needed walking away from, but one day I left it all behind. I didn’t know where I was going, but I knew everything in my life had to change.

I moved to Colorado alone, very sick and very tired. I ended up in the hospital again on steroids because I was so scared of losing my colon, not making it out of bed, not being able to live or meet someone who could love this broken version of me. It was all so fear-based, just writing this brings tears to my eyes. After the hospital I began this new journey of self-love and self-care. I was walking to the park just to take off my shoes and wiggle my toes into the earth, I was creating the most wonderful sacred space just for me, where I would make healing and healthy meals, take long nighttime baths, diffuse calming scents and play music where I could just be me. Fully present. Fully letting go. Shedding the layers of an old belief system and connecting with ME.

This doesn’t mean it wasn’t or isn’t still hard, but I now have so many tools I can use. I remember being in a yoga class while on steroids, looking in the mirror and feeling very horrified by the face staring back at me. The effects of yet another drug making me feel so unbelievably sad and alone. These dark and sad moments changed me, they made me more gentle, more caring for others and more understanding that we all have these moments. They need to be felt, they need to be released and they need to be shared.

 

3) What have you learned?

I have learned that I will never be done learning. Life is beautiful in this way. I’ve learned to wake up every day and choose love and happiness, while releasing fear. I’ve learned that this isn’t always easy and it takes work. I have learned to trust what the universe is giving me and how this has been the thing that has set my soul free. I have learned that trusting in nature and natural healing practices are a better choice for me. I have learned that I can create my own sacred spaces and create the energy I need to feel connected. I have learned that this makes me happier and healthier. I have learned that there are waves of ups and downs, but that is part of life’s beauty. Everyday I am learning from relationships, trying new ideas, working with my passion, Cure Designs (www.curedesigns.com), and connecting a web of loving souls along this journey.

IMG_6259

 

 

 

I LOVE women. And like the great Chris Dennler said, “All women are beautiful.”  I can whole-heartedly see what he’s talking about. But I have to admit this honor and respect for the female did not always exist in me how it does now. Unlike a lot of little girls, when I was little I wasn’t into “girly” things. I had a major aversion to pink and was a tom-boy, always outside and dirty, and kicking and screaming most of the time when I had to wear a skirt.  Admission: I am still a tom-boy at heart, and often dirty and outside at 38 years of age. That part hasn’t changed.

I have always had good girlfriends that I really loved and trusted, but in general much preferred the direct no “b.s”  way that boys had about them. But as I grew older, something started to shift…my friendships with women became more sacred, and this continues to develop today.  My “tribe” has become women that I look up to and am inspired by because of who they are…they come in all shades and with different personalities and preferences. They do not all know each other personally and some are extremely different from others, especially on the outside. Some live far and our correspondence is few and far between, and some live close and we check in several times a week. But that is not what this is all about. It’s that connection with a woman that usually happens instantly when you meet her, it’s almost like that same spark when you meet a love interest, just a different kind. Of course it can also happen where your relationship with her unfolds over time and you realize this later. But when it happens instantly, I have rarely been wrong. It’s that women’s intuition thing, as trite as it sounds.

That is what I have come to understand as the foundation and beauty of the love of women for other women.  We feel each other and know things without saying them or hearing them. We check-in and support each other. We talk about all the details, I mean every.single.detail  when even the best man might be snoozing with boredom. We tell each other we are beautiful. Men have their own special ways of connecting with each other and with us too, which is definitely inspiring to see and cherished as well. But this is a blog for women celebrating women, so that’s what I’m focusing on here 🙂

Women are mysterious and intriguing, and I love to watch how many of them choose to navigate their way through this ever-changing world.  We are all, men and women, going for a paradigm shift; that’s not easy. And we are all certainly going through our own personal struggles.  I am going to talk about the women that are evolving from the struggle with a special flair.  At first I worded it as ‘making the best of it’ but that’s not exactly what I mean. Not grinning and bearing it-but having the courage to actually go THROUGH instead of around to get to the other side. These women might be working through a challenge zone most every single day; you might have no idea.  These women are the women that have the bravery to make their life about the lesson and the learning…and eventually the looking back and smiling on it all for happening, no matter how hard it was. Because there is always an offering of joy beneath every test. We just have to  find it.

I have decided to feature these women, my every day heroines and inspirations. Some I have known for years, some new friends, and some I have admired from afar… I will pick every one of you women out there if you give me time, because I see something beautiful in every single one of you. But I am purposely going to pick from a variety of career, purpose and style. I’m also going to allow it to flow and change if that feels right, but for now I will feature one woman a month in the same format, asking the same three questions to all the women and share their answers, un-edited:

Who are you?

What is the greatest challenge you have overcome/are overcoming?

What have you learned?

(Simple questions aren’t always easy to answer).

My hope is that this monthly recognition of the full range of the Feminine inspires you, enlightens you, and maybe even comforts you in some way, whether you are a man or a woman.

Sat Nam,

Elise

 

*the term Worthy Women was inspired by and is credited to Betsy Finkeloo

image

Social media can really give people the wrong idea. This is a testament to the whole picture. I lead the most blessed and happy life I can imagine. But I want to share the part of me that has been behind the scenes. I did not intentionally hide this because it didn’t look good… I didn’t even know how to share it with my family and closest friends…or even myself. But I think when we put forward only our best moments, photos and views it tells others that they should be doing, feeling, seeing things like that all the time too. I want to continue to be positive, because that’s me. But I think it’s so important as social media becomes such a big part of our culture …to be real. I am currently back in school to be able to facilitate all sorts of diagnostic health tests. Here is why.

Starting about ten +/- years ago, my health took a seemingly inexplicable downhill turn. Before that, I had basically never been sick and could “push through” almost any challenge whether physical, mental or emotional and come out good on the other end.  At the time, I owned a fashion boutique in La Jolla and was working over 70 hours a week for five years. So I admittedly didn’t have the tools or the time to respond to the mysterious change very gracefully. As things (sometimes gradually and sometimes abruptly) got worse, I made some huge mistakes that hopefully I can help others avoid.

Because I always thought “I’m sure everything will be fine”, it wasn’t until five years later that I finally got some tests and found out the beginning of the story that was to unravel what I now call my Health Adventure.
Well it’s been five years since then and a lot has gone down. I definitely felt afraid and admit that in scared moments wondered if something was inherently wrong with me. Well there was… just not in the way that I sometimes feared. I have genetic mutations that don’t allow me to “de-tox” like other people. I have had this my whole life but it didn’t cause too much of a problem until just the right storm of events happened(enter blastocystis hominis- a parasite I got in Oaxaca about ten years ago but didn’t know at the time), and a lot of emotional stress and overworking.  Every detail isn’t important, but that unhealed issue turned into debilitating migraine headaches for a while, then stomach and several auto-immune issues, longstanding pneumonias and very low energy. Just recently I found out that the heavy metals in my body are extremely high. This is why even the antibiotics didn’t kill the parasite…they are counteracted by heavy metals. All of this combined has put my adrenal glands in Stage III exhaustion and my stomach sIG level at .01 when a thriving range looks about 60.
Now that I understand and have finally gotten to the bottom of the real issue behind it all(the underlying detox issue is actually quite easy to handle and supplement once you are aware of it), I can see it as a blessing…because I know the whole process with all its twists and turns is molding me to be a better person to help others.
Back in the day when I just started dealing with it all, I learned to do all the right things:  clean eating, supplements, finding great health practitioners and doctors, yoga, daily meditation…habits that I will have for life…I even sold my store and created a balanced and peaceful life doing what I love: helping people. I went to Boulder and started “Rolfing”, took nutrition school (IIN based in New York) while I was working and learned how to heal myself instead of looking for others to do it for me. I got control of some auto-immune issues that all the doctors told me would just get worse. I learned the importance of food and personal love and self care.  I was happy inside but I knew something was still wrong. In fact, it seemed to get worse in certain ways.
Since those tests I have been to many many doctors (both medical and natural), acupuncture, energetic healing, taken a bagazillion (that’s so many it’s not even a number anymore)supplements, natural protocols, when those didn’t work- antibiotics, when those didn’t work- more natural options…when those didn’t work- triple strength antibiotics four times in a row….what?!!! I have felt confused, sad, overwhelmed, angry… but most of all alone.  Here I was doing all the right things and still not feeling well. I didn’t share this information with anyone because I didn’t know how to make any sense of it myself. I didn’t really tell anyone until about a year ago when things got so bad I basically didn’t  have an option.
Most people, even my closest family members and friends, were and still are confused and don’t know how to react because I don’t have one issue that comes with a specific label. People, especially the medical industry, really want to label things so you can get the pertaining drugs prescribed. This is great for symptoms. But to heal most things, including ones with labels(which I have some of those too), a lot more is involved. And that means understanding all the processes of your body, how they function….and how they HEAL and thrive. Most people don’t have the time, drive or energy to go this deep in today’s world. I was forced to, THANK GOD.
I have been working on gaining a target audience on social media: caring people who prioritize their health and the health of those that they love. I am doing this to be able to share my story, hopefully inspire someone out there in some small or big way, but also one day (hopefully sooner than later) be able to offer anyone out there that isn’t feeling well some assistance getting out of feeling “off” before it gets worse. Stress is behind most illnesses, and this doesn’t have to be “stress” at work like we conventionally see it.. it can be emotional, food sensitivities/allergies, environmental, chemical or mycotoxins…processes going on inside your body that you might not even feel until they have already caused quite a bit of harm.
If I had just gotten tested after being so sick in Oaxaca!!! But I was younger. And more stubborn. But for every twist and turn my process has taken me, no matter how painful, I say thank you. Because it has helped me learn and care about things I never would have learned or cared about before. And this is building me to be able to help even more. I was stubborn, impatient and to be blunt did not respond well to people that were sick or didn’t feel well. I wanted them to “buck up” or get over it and sometimes even thought it was in the person’s head. Well karma (or whatever you want to refer to it as) KICKED ME IN THE ASS. “That person” has become me. This has all happened for a reason. I was given the challenges that got me and my hard-headed self to the point where I can’t “buck up” and get over it. I did that for years and now I surrender to what is…with gratitude.
Many people that are helping others every day need help the most but don’t know how to get it or how to make the time. We get so good or focused on  helping others that we forget or never learn how to truly take care of ourselves. This can mean health practitioners and healers… but also mothers, fathers, bosses, managers, etc etc.
The best practitioners, in my opinion,  have normally gone through some sort of struggle themselves and have figured out(to some extent) their own puzzle and then are able to help others with a full capacity. When these people fall behind as all of us humans do, they take the time and space to recalibrate and re-set.  I fee like I have learned this with my own body as far as pushing it and injuries go and in my Rolfing practice, but I still strive and am on the path to be one of these type of Nutritional Counselors.
I am taking a few weeks off teaching yoga, work and school to take a step back… But it’s actually a giant step forward in self-care. Rest, rejuvenation and play are the main focus. I used to be so scared to let anyone know that I wasn’t doing well. I didn’t want to make people feel uncomfortable. But sharing things like this hopefully makes other people know they are not alone. If you aren’t feeling well and don’t know exactly what is wrong, have been eating well and doing all the right things and had people tell you that you are “fine” and “everything looks normal”… I want you to know that I can soon help you. We can dig deeper and look at the whole picture together. Not quite yet, as I am taking the biggest move ever towards my own healing and that is making sure I am on the up side of things before I start taking on more.
In the name of authenticity, one of the biggest motivations in getting feeling my best is so that I can help any of YOU out there that don’t feel your best but might be confused why, what’s going on or what to do.  I promise I will use what I have learned in this process to better help you and/or your loved ones when the time is right and with a much greater compassion than I ever would have been able to had I not gone through all of this.
BIG LOVE. #beyourself #findanewangle #weareallblessed

I like to eat. A lot. I grew up (over)eating a lot, and I have to admit…I think I eat more than my boyfriend. So as much as I can see some great reasons to cleanse, the idea doesn’t generally appeal to me all that much. The word itself makes me think of tons of liquids and no food and then binging afterward.

About 10 years ago I did the Master Cleanse. It was tragic. Don’t get me wrong, I completed the whole 10 days without cheating(because I am also a bit hard-headed). There were a few low days, but I thoroughly enjoyed the extra time and space in my schedule that was not filled with thinking about food, preparing it and eating it. I was peaceful and seriously felt like I was floating the last few days without a care in the world, which was great for me- but probably not for the employees of my boutique at that time because I had absolutely no focus or drive. The aftermath was what did me in though….I was eating ice cream, cheeseburgers, tons of french fries in a frenzy…things I didn’t even really crave before. I felt like I had a lot of making up to do after all of that deprivation…for about a full year after! So, yes…sometimes I have been known to go to extremes as well.

That eventually ran its course and just a few years ago I tried a 3 Day all juice cleanse and quit near the end of the second day because, to be honest, my stomach was killing and the juice blends were just not that tasty. It wasn’t fun and I was ravenous and moody.

This brings me to my current self…hopefully a little more balanced and making better choices. This is also where Beaming comes in. I have been driving to Del Mar from Cardiff for about a year when I feel like treating myself with something special. This might sound cheesy, but if you have been there you will know what I am talking about. The moment you walk in the door you know this place is going to be good. There are plenty of places closer to me that I could get a juice, but it just isn’t the same. The Founder, Lisa Odenweller has a great philosophy on health and life, (which thankfully includes a little wine and pizza, which are my favorite). Although I have never met her, I feel like she and I are cut from the same cloth. I believe in adding in the good stuff to crowd out the not-so-good, instead of making a huge list of what you can’t eat. I truly believe eating should be colorful and fun. My favorite quote of hers: “Only when what you eat and drink satisfies completely can you turn health into a lifestyle.”

And if you are a foodie, you will appreciate the Culinary Team behind the magic of Beaming, which includes Susan Sbicca and Jesus Gonzales. There was a special on Instagram for the 4 Day Post-Thanksgiving Cleanse they were having and it got me intrigued, although hesitant. I went to the website and read:

 You may be surprised to hear from us that we don’t actually believe in “cleansing” as it is currently defined by the popular juice, powdered drinks or water/maple syrup/lemon fasts/cleanses. Believe it or not, your body is an amazingly brilliant machine that “cleanses” naturally.

Now they were talking directly to me. I was in. I finished the 4 Day Cleanse three days ago and I still wish I was on it. I feel amazing. The whole program is well thought-out, balanced; there is plenty of food….and the best part of it all is that everything is absolutely delicious.  There are 2 green juices, a smoothie, a raw soup, an elixir and a huge salad each day. Like I said before, I eat a lot… and I was never hungry. I had enough energy to do some great hikes, take barre class, and work. The second day was rough, as I later found out that is the big detox day. But from then on things were great. The morning I finished the cleanse I woke up and could eat or drink whatever I wanted…but I found myself going straight to the kitchen and making a warm lemon water, then walking to get a green juice(it was not Beaming, but it would suffice). I am 3 days out and still craving fresh, clean, mostly plant-based and raw food. The cleanse replaced any low energy, fogginess and cravings with clarity, energy, and lightness. If I had all the money in the world, right now I would eat at Beaming every day for every meal.  Realistically I know that my life will eventually include pizza at some point and a glass of wine or two(because it’s all about balance, remember?), but for now I am using all the recipes I received after the cleanse and doing my best “Beaming” imitation…which as you know, is the biggest form of flattery.

 

IMG_2604

 

 

Beaming

 

 

 

Lectins have been linked to aging, allergies, asthma, autoimmune disorders, blood disorders, heart problems, blood sugar problems, digestive issues, liver challenges, learning disorders, skin problems, and even reproductive issues in women. Chances are you have been challenged in some way with one of these, know someone who has, or at the very least really would like to avoid this previous list. Basically, it would behoove you to read on.

We have learned so much about food and nutrition over the years.  Hopefully everyone can agree that grouping all foods into “bad” and “good” isn’t appropriate now.  One person’s healing tonic might be another’s poison.  An example would be tomatoes.  They are so good for you, right? They are high in Vitamins A, C, K, B6, magnesium, fiber…how could it go wrong?  Well, if you have Type A or B Blood, there are certain pesky proteins in the tomato called lectins that can act like antibodies and your body will attack them like a foreign invader.

The tomato nutrients are digested by the stomach, but the lectin protein remains intact and is passed into the bloodstream, where it eventually settles somewhere and attracts cells. Once clumped with the lectin, the cells are then also targeted by the Blood A and B antigens as foreign invaders, just like the lectin. These otherwise healthy cells are now part of the attack since the body of the specific blood types can’t eliminate the tomato lectin naturally. The cell destruction, depending on where in the body this occurs, could lead to irritable bowels, liver or kidney failure, or any various disorders relating to different systems in your body(as mentioned before).

Blood Type A has only the A antigen, B has only the B antigen, AB has both, and O has neither A or B antigen. This also affects blood transfusions. Your body will only accept your type, or the universal donor type, which is Type O. Blood Type AB can receive all four types of blood. If you are given the wrong type, your body’s immune system will produce antibodies to attack those foreign antigens and could even cause death. None of this is a coincidence; each of our bodies have the automatic ability to produce antibodies from the moment we are born.

Awareness is key.  If you don’t know your blood type, find it out.  A good resource for information about specifically what foods work and don’t work for each blood type is Eat Right For Your Blood Type by Peter D’Amo, MD.  I personally would say to take his advice in a general sense.  The specific parts about proteins, carbohydrates and nightshades seem to really apply to and help most of my clients.  For example, people with Blood Type O generally thrive on protein, most veggies, and staying away from heavy carbohydrates. Type A seems to work best with veggies(no nightshades) and carbs, not meat. But my take is that even within the Blood Types, each person is different.

I wouldn’t recommend attempting to avoid each and every lectin associated negatively with your blood type, especially if you do not have a serious disorder or problem.  Doing this can cause a huge amount of stress, which could counteract any positive goals that you are trying to accomplish.  Pay attention to the foods he says you should avoid, monitor any reaction to them when you do eat them and go from there…chances are that there will  be some trigger foods that are much worse that others. JUST DO YOUR BEST.  I would definitely recommend adding in as many of the lectins that are complementary to your blood type. You might see a dramatic improvement in your health…isn’t it worth a try? As my friend Libby would say, “What’s the best that could happen?!”

Fear,
She has that Magical quality
About her, doesn’t she?
The way She furls close, then twirls
around the room-
flirting with everyone, never satiated with
just one.
Running Wild, Yearning to be followed.
When ignored, she is Defiant;
causing a tornado, whirling and hurling
herself about…
Hold her, squeeze her, Love her Tight.
Have her for the moment.
Experience her.
Now watch her slip by…

Photo Credit, Alexandra Valenti

 

 

“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.”
― Mary Oliver

Do you accept your darkness? I mean really, really accept your darkness? That doesn’t mean that you favor your mistakes or bad habits or you are proud of them.  But can you still see your Light in a total black-out?

I have recently been challenged with seeing my own Light. I thought I was getting really good at loving myself just as I am. I “teach” this type of self-love to my Health Counseling clients, talk about it in my Structural Integration practice, and offer this advice to friends, family and even myself.  But sometimes you get kicked in the pants right when you get comfortable; that’s life. Growing up in a world of polarizations where things were “right” and “wrong”… “good” and “bad”, I was very judgmental of myself and in turn, it made me judgmental of others. Well the truth (for me) is that we are all a mix of those things. Yes, some lay on more extreme ends of the spectrum than others. But I truly believe that all of us, every single person, has a beautiful Light somewhere in there.

So when we do something, or a string of things, to darken or almost put out that Light…is it still there?

This idea of Light or joy can be so easy to feel and accept when things are all in line and filled with sunshine and flow. Sometimes it can be felt even when you are mildly struggling with something or not getting exactly what you want. But when excruciatingly hard times come about or we are feeling macrocosmically guilty and/or shameful or even misunderstood, are things really exactly as they are supposed to be?  It feels so wrong and uncomfortable. Even unbearable.

My answer still stays the same. YES. As cliche as it sounds, that is our biggest chance to grow and to drop down into an even deeper layer of ourselves. And what comes up is always what we need to learn.  Love yourself enough to look at the shadow parts of yourself straight in the eye. Get all squirmy and uncomfortable and still love yourself: in totality instead of just the shiny, happy sparkly parts. This might be scary…we want to think of ourselves as “good”.

One of the main reasons I came into the Rolf work was because it helped me overcome some physical challenges with my body and it made me want to help others with theirs.  A desire to heal digestive issues and a skin disease, as well as learn more and help others with their health problems in a natural and holistic way led me to school for Nutritional Counseling . When I have a challenge in my body or my health in general, I do my best to perceive it as an opportunity to objectively see, overcome, but also simply as a chance to relate and help my clients better in case they deal with something similar.  It is a common misunderstanding that yogis are supposed to only do yoga and never have too many beers, psychologists are never supposed to have a “crazy” side, and nutritionists should never eat anything “bad” for them, etc.

But none of us are all good or all bad, things are not good or bad, food is not inherently good or bad. We all make mistakes and don’t always act from our highest self, and it is normally what we do with things that make them appear good or bad. If we become inherently bad because of a wrong decision or action, this only causes us to feel more “bad.”  We do something we are not proud of, feel horrible about it, then feel so disconnected that we don’t care enough to turn things around so we just wallow in the guilt and our subsequent thoughts, feelings, and actions go on a downward spiral from there.

Who exactly is that serving?

No matter what is going on…see your Light.  If you can’t see it or feel it yet(or don’t even know what I am talking about), I challenge you to take the steps until you do.  Connect with that Light and it will grow, I swear. I am, as ever, a work in progress.  It is a life-long process and none of us are finished while we are still living and breathing.  When you are gentle with yourself about this, you will notice how you will start becoming more and more gentle with those around you. It just feels good..


Sometimes we learn the most from the most simple things. This is an excellent example from a little girl named Elise.  (No, this is not me as a little girl…even though I looked just like her. Her understanding of food and nutrition is way more advanced than mine at her age).

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exBEFCiWyW0&feature=share

 

She probably does not know any thing about Monsanto.  My pipe dream is that she will never have to. If she and all of her friends act on what they have learned, then we have a small hope. That can become contagious…especially in the new frontier of the Internet and especially Facebook.

We can’t seem to be able to depend on Government or Big Agriculture to save us.  The USDA approved GMO Alfalfa, and that has been seen by some as the beginning of the end. I agree- some things seem out of our control.

This brings to mind Gandhi’s famous line, “Be the change that you want to see in the world.”  Let’s all try to simplify our lives and thus our food systems.  Let’s grow as much as we can ourselves, be as close to the source of our food as possible, and make sure that funky stuff is not sprayed on everything(this matters more on some food than others).

Here is a list of the 12 Things you should always buy organic: The Dirty Dozen

  • Apples
  • Celery
  • Strawberries
  • Peaches
  • Spinach
  • Nectarines (imported)
  • Grapes (imported)
  • Sweet bell peppers
  • Potatoes
  • Blueberries (domestic)
  • Lettuce
  • Kale/collard greens

And since most of us cannot afford organic all the time, here is a list of foods that you can get away with: The Clean 15  (notice that sweet potatoes are actually on this list though, which is what little Elise used in her experiment)

The point here is not to become paranoid and freak out. That would not solve anything…and the little girl seemed to be ok?! Do what you can today. Educate yourself. Be pro-active. Remember: we don’t have to be perfect; but if we all did a little bit more, that would be a big change overall.

Here is a conversation I have heard at the grocery store:  Female A, “Should I get the gluten-free bread?” Female B, “Definitely. It’s way more healthy.”  Female A, “How do you know?”  Female B, “It’s everywhere, haven’t you heard?  They have a section for it in every grocery store. It’s like the new fat-free.”

Gluten in its own entity is not “unhealthy”. It’s certain people’s reaction, sensitivity or allergy to gluten that causes it to have harmful effects on the body. Two questions need to be answered to either legitimize or de-construct the myth that gluten is harmful for you.

1)  What is gluten? Gluten is a protein found in wheat, barley, rye, spelt, kamut, and oats. It is hidden in pizza, pasta, bread, wraps, rolls, and most processed foods. Obviously, gluten is in a lot of things in the American diet.  For people that are sensitive or allergic, it can be daunting to realize that cutting out gluten means cutting out a lot of things that they love and eat every day.

Gluten sensitivity is actually an autoimmune disease that creates inflammation throughout the body, with wide-ranging effects across all organ systems including your brain, heart, joints, digestive tract, and more. It can be the single cause behind many different “diseases.”  It can provide miraculous results by taking it out of your diet if you have an issue with it.

But the key point here is finding out if you have an issue with it. Inflammation can be caused by many things, not just gluten.  So before you go eliminating all these things from your diet, you will want to find out if you actually have a sensitivity to it or not.

2)  Am I allergic or sensitive to gluten? There are two ways to find out.   One is testing. There are gluten allergy/celiac disease tests that are available through Labcorp or Quest Diagnostics. All these tests help identify various forms of allergy or sensitivity to gluten or wheat, however they are expensive and not always 100% effective.

The most reliable way is to completely remove all sources of gluten from your diet for two to four weeks and see how you feel.  This means absolutely no gluten, not even a bite. Please go to www.celiac.com for a complete list of all sources of gluten, including hidden sources like soups and even most lipsticks.

Then when you eat it again, see what happens. If you feel bad at all, which might come in various forms but you will know without a doubt…you might be extremely sleepy, itchy, irregular bowels, anxious, etc…you should stay away from gluten permanently. This will teach you better than any test about the impact gluten has on your body.

If not, then you are one of the lucky gluten tolerant people out there.  There are more people out there than one might think after all the hype that is currently going in about gluten.

…So I didn’t say anything to the girls in the grocery store, even though I wanted to.  I also wanted to let them know that eating fat-free isn’t all that healthy either. We need certain fats in our body…ok I guess I will save that for another blog.