14 Jan Worthy Women, First Edition: Jessica Cure
I met Jessica on the, ah-hem… throat clear, internet. It’s not what it sounds like, but it is true. And we are now real friends. Social media gets a bad rap for too many selfies, superficiality, comparison, and many other things. But just like everything else, it is what you make it. I see it as a conduit to share whatever is important to you, and that means different things to different people. Over the summer, I had a conversation with my good friend Cyrus who helped me get really clear about what my intention and purpose was on social media. I want to help, inspire, comfort, and be authentic. Ever since then, I have discovered some of the most dynamic and encouraging people I have ever “met” on the internet and made countless meaningful connections. Jessica is one of them. In fact, I had my idea of Worthy Women for awhile, but when one of us starting following the other on Instagram and then connected through DM and then a phone conversation… I knew I had to start the blog. She was my Worthy Women muse, if you will 😉
So thank you Jessica; you are a Warrior Princess… kind, graceful and creative- yet unafraid and raw…everything a woman inspires to be 🙂
Who: Jessica Cure
Occupation: (Cure Design) creating healing spaces
1) Who are you?
I am perfectly flawed – in my perfection I have the power to succeed and in my flaws I have the power the inspire.
2) What is the greatest challenge you have overcome/are overcoming?
This is a tough one because I feel like there have been multiple challenges that all have seemingly intertwined themselves into one. I believe it started with the idea that I needed to strive for the version of success I was told I was headed for. I was a perfectionist to the T, growing up with the sub-conscious beliefs that these collection of perfect skills somehow made me good and valuable. Although learning and setting goals for myself have been great for my life, it was the goals I had that were off course. These needs I had were disillusioned by the world of consumerism, media and the “perfect” looking woman.
I had my first flare with Ulcerative Colitis when I was 15 years old. I remember taking my AP World History Final while running between the bathroom and lying on the classroom floor. I struggled with pain early on and thought I just would learn to live with it, not putting much thought into what was making this pain worse. Fast forward ten years where I was living a life towards these “ultimate” goals, with the beautiful home, fancy car, regiment workout and eating schedule to keep myself looking a certain way, which would facilitate more success in a very dissatisfying lifestyle. I began to get sicker and sicker both mentally and physically. I was so sick with Ulcerative Colitis that I ended up passing out making my bed, and was rushed to the hospital where I was pumped with drugs and sent home only to get worse. I was flown back to California, where I am from, to be admitted to a hospital with a severe C-difficile infection screaming in pain. Looking back on this it almost doesn’t seem real, but this moment changed me forever.
Deep down I had always known I wasn’t meant for that sort of living. I loved nature, art and travel. I wanted to help others and share. I wanted to follow a path with deeper purpose and connection to the earth. I was looking around me stuck in a hospital bed in isolation feeling like a science project gone wrong. How could this be what life was meant for? It wasn’t! I started researching and reaching out to anyone I knew with guidance and answers. I suddenly realized the people that had come into my life, who I had always felt a deep connection with, were the healers… and then went to them for support. I looked to the internet and found some great mentors such as Christine Roseberry, Just Glowing with Health, who sent me the book The Live Food Factor. I started to chip away at my life and began releasing what wasn’t good for me and trusting that the answers would come. I remember crying in yoga class every day, as I told myself to let go of this or let go of that. Asking for guidance of what to do next and feeling very alone. THIS WAS THE HARDEST THING I EVER DID AND AM STILL WORKING ON. TRUSTING. Trusting that letting go and following my intuitions was going to be ok, was major work for me. I had a lot of toxic relationships that needed walking away from, but one day I left it all behind. I didn’t know where I was going, but I knew everything in my life had to change.
I moved to Colorado alone, very sick and very tired. I ended up in the hospital again on steroids because I was so scared of losing my colon, not making it out of bed, not being able to live or meet someone who could love this broken version of me. It was all so fear-based, just writing this brings tears to my eyes. After the hospital I began this new journey of self-love and self-care. I was walking to the park just to take off my shoes and wiggle my toes into the earth, I was creating the most wonderful sacred space just for me, where I would make healing and healthy meals, take long nighttime baths, diffuse calming scents and play music where I could just be me. Fully present. Fully letting go. Shedding the layers of an old belief system and connecting with ME.
This doesn’t mean it wasn’t or isn’t still hard, but I now have so many tools I can use. I remember being in a yoga class while on steroids, looking in the mirror and feeling very horrified by the face staring back at me. The effects of yet another drug making me feel so unbelievably sad and alone. These dark and sad moments changed me, they made me more gentle, more caring for others and more understanding that we all have these moments. They need to be felt, they need to be released and they need to be shared.
3) What have you learned?
I have learned that I will never be done learning. Life is beautiful in this way. I’ve learned to wake up every day and choose love and happiness, while releasing fear. I’ve learned that this isn’t always easy and it takes work. I have learned to trust what the universe is giving me and how this has been the thing that has set my soul free. I have learned that trusting in nature and natural healing practices are a better choice for me. I have learned that I can create my own sacred spaces and create the energy I need to feel connected. I have learned that this makes me happier and healthier. I have learned that there are waves of ups and downs, but that is part of life’s beauty. Everyday I am learning from relationships, trying new ideas, working with my passion, Cure Designs (www.curedesigns.com), and connecting a web of loving souls along this journey.