02 Aug Worthy Men, Second Edition: James Sol Radina
Who: James Sol Radina (IG:@jimmysol)
Occupation: CEO of BioCBD (http://www.biocbdplus.com/)
Location: Kauai, Hawaii
James is one of my dearest friends. Actually, he’s more like a brother. I wouldn’t know him if its wasn’t for Somer, my friend whom he is about to marry. I have lived with them for weeks on end in Kauai, and seen him in all different situations. Here is what I have witnessed: he is the first responder to help, he is kind and patient, he is creative, he does about 100 things in a day and does them all with care, and he always speaks with love and respect.
He is always growing, evolving and refining. He NEVER sees himself as the victim. He is on the very top of my go-to list for advice. He, Somer and I have spent many mornings doing Kundalini Meditations on the deck of their house in Haena that will forever be in my memory.
I love how authentic and vulnerable his share is and I can’t wait for to share it with you. This could absolutely read as an instruction guide to a young man looking how to go from being a boy to a man. Or a man to a better version of himself. I can’t think of anyone I would rather be the husband of one of my best friends in the world; I know he will take such good care of her because I have seen it, day in and day out.
1) Who are you?
I am seeker. A seeker of everything. A seeker of nothing. Mostly a seeker of truths. I am so curious to how life works and why we are here. I crave to know how this world works. I love more than anything, uncovering the inner truths of my own being while also learning everything I can about the outer world in which we all share. I have flipped my reality upside down so many times lately, which at first causes massive confusion, but usually rests in a new found “Aha Moment.”
For example, one day I realized I was constantly judging people. It was not on purpose, it was automatic. After much reflection and bringing awareness to this, I started to imagine what kind of life they might have had in order to be who they are and now I find myself sending compassion to people rather than placing judgements. I try to imagine myself walking in their shoes. The truth is, everyone has felt pain and suffering in their life, everyone has love in their hearts and we all feel the same emotions of anger, frustration, joy, bliss, etc. I have had many dark days and nights, so who am I to judge anyone? So when I seek, I seek to find greater love for myself and all of humanity, even when it is hard. And especially when it is hard.
I practice the Eastern Philosophies of non-attachment. So I don’t hold onto anything too tight. I have found that holding onto things keeps my mind closed to new discoveries. Since this was not taught to me growing up, quite the opposite actually, I stumble with this one. Yet at the same time, I can see the massive progress I have made. So you could say I am attached to being non-attached.
I love to play in the moment as much as possible, which is not always the easiest thing, but I have been on this path for many years now and I love the results that this has created in my life. Living in the moment, to me, means finding gratitude and grace inside of the way things are; exactly as they are. I have not always been this way, as most of my life I spent wishing I was different or the things around me were different. Now I practice active surrender each and every day mixed with lots of gratitude. Surrendering, yet showing up and walking my path.
I am a meditator and a yogi, yet someone whose path is not to sit silent in a cave, but rather show up and walk the earth supporting in anyway that I can. I am a supporter in my core, sometimes to a fault. Sometimes I find I will over sacrifice my own health and well being to support others. I continue to learn my lessons here.
Also, I am a lifelong learner. I’m a really good friend with a lot of really good friends. I consider my closest friends my family, my chosen family. I am a world citizen and traveler. I wish my passport said Planet Earth as my home instead of the USA. I am a surfer. I love just about every sport, am extremely active and being in nature is my church. I am an entrepreneur with multiple companies focusing on medicinal benefits of cannabis.
I am recently engaged and very much looking forward to a full moon October 2016 wedding and being an amazing husband. And finally, I am really looking forward to being a father!
2) What is the greatest challenge you have overcome/are overcoming?
Self Worth. I continue to find areas where I show up playing small. It’s a sneaky little trick that many times I don’t uncover until after the fact. Or I make a decision only for myself to look back and see how it came from a place of lack or scarcity. I have seen this show up in many different environments of my life. It shows up in the dynamics between my father and my brother, the two family members closest to me. It also shows up in my relationship with my fiancé (a whole lot less now as I have done a lot of work here, more on this later).
Mostly I find areas that I am operating from a place of lack in my businesses. To give some context, I find myself in the fastest growing industry in the US, with three companies where I am CEO, in which are all growing yet need an upgrade of teams and additional capital. Asking people to join your team or invest in your company, is an interesting process to say the least…at least for me. Many people I am sure are great at this, but due to my unique upbringing, my life’s history, failures and life lessons of my past, I continue to find my negative mind focusing on all the areas that could be “better” or “done differently”, instead of focusing on all the “wins” and areas of deep “gratitude” I have for where these companies have evolved. Every day I am constantly “checking in” with gratitude, otherwise my mind wants to create a story of lack. For example, on one hand the impact on our customer’s lives we are creating is priceless (over 23 pages of testimonials) and the revenue we are generating is great after just 15 months in business. Yet for some reason, my past conditioning brings in a story that I could doing “better,” we should have “more” market share or we should be growing “faster”. More, better and faster are desires that come from a place of lack, of not seeing the good in exactly the way things are, and I have found that this “tape” or “story” running in my head will never end by getting “somewhere” and there is no destination “out there” that will make me ever feel enough. Feeling worthy, or feeling MORE than enough, is an internal journey. It is the journey I am working on right now and probably the biggest one of my life as it is deep and stemming from some childhood traumas.
It’s an interesting process. I have read that I am not alone, as many people in the Western world are dealing with this sentiment as well. Yet I believe I am alone, as this is mine to do. I believe we are our own best doctor. We are our own best guru. And like so many other blocks in my life, once I am aware of them, I take them head on to uncover the truth behind all the fears.
3) What have you learned?
It feel like I am on two paths. One is to uncover the “inner world” truths about what makes me come alive versus what shuts me down. On this path I have uncovered so many walls & blocks, that have stemmed from my childhood, which were keeping me from truly being open. For example, I found myself in multiple long term relationships in my adult life, yet I always had one foot out the door. I would never truly allow my heart to open fully. I was always thinking the grass was greener “out there”. And I would always blame the woman I was with for why things were not working. This caused a lot of pain and suffering in my life. Well, it turns out, I wasn’t fully allowing love into my heart and I was so scared of losing the relationship that I would protect myself by running away. I would never allow myself to go all in. If it started getting too deep and serious, I would find a way to blow it all up. It took me until I was 34 years old to finally see this. Luckily I had been on a journey seeking the inner path, which led me to working on opening my heart, taking full responsibility for my failed relationships and coming to the realization I wasn’t fully letting myself accept love. This was a pattern I was stuck in that was no longer ok with me. My mother died when I was 4 in a car accident. So for most of my life, I have been unconsciously operating from where a scared little boy was calling the shots. I think that every time things got too close or I had a fear of loss, I would shut down. And it has taken massive amounts of inner work to get to where I am now; engaged and less than 90 days away from marring my dream girl. Whew, this was no small feat! And on the other side, I can say this was my greatest lesson. It’s amazing how our darkest hours are our biggest life lessons. Which sums up this point….when doing my “inner work” I seek to find the parts of me that are uncomfortable with the way life is. I bring awareness to these areas where I close down. Then I find my core root belief systems and unconscious patterns, let them go, no matter how long it takes, and re-write the script finding a new way to be comfortable in what used to make me uncomfortable.
The second path I find myself on, is my personal path to uncover how to best fully show up in the outer world. What is mine to do? I love the path of Paramahansa Yogananda, Jesus, Buddha, Mother Teresa, Nahko Bear, Michael A. Singer, Gandhi and so many other saints and sages. These are my mentors, as they are real examples of what success looks like. They all understood the importance of the inner world and how it directly impacted their ability to truly BE in the outer world. They all have found their unique expression in life and how they inspired millions by just showing up as themselves. I have found the same. Over and over I have found, that as I uncover my true nature, I am in turn able to show up more fully for my family, my relationships and for humanity. As a seeker of ancient wisdom, I learn first then immediately apply the lessons to my life. These Great Ones I mentioned above are my favorite examples of people that authentically walked and talked from a place that could only be discovered by going within and realizing their own inner truths.
For most of my life, I was seeking validation from the outside world. I grew up thinking success was based on how much money I made and what other people thought of me. I grew up on a small 40 acre farm in rural Kansas, went to a high school with a graduating class of 31, owned and operated two night clubs through college, then moved to San Diego in hopes to make millions in real estate. I found myself going to clubs 4 nights a week, Vegas once a month, and well, basically numbing myself.
Then meditation found it’s way into my life (which was extremely hard and even painful at first)….and then yoga. Now I find myself with all types of tools, such as Kundalini Yoga for the ultimate hack for quieting the mind, using mantras for manifesting experiences, mudras, breathwork, Hatha Yoga, guided meditations, Earthing and so much more. These tools are critical to my life. They all are needed in quieting my monkey mind, which is constantly trying to get in the way of seeing the inner and outer truths I so much desire to understand. The Bhagavad Gita, like the Bible and Tao Te Ching, is considered one of the greatest sacred texts ever discovered. It is about a war between good and evil, which is really one big allegory revealing the battle we all face each day with our ego, between fear and love. For me, I strive to be awake and stay awake, so that I may see when I get lost in the mind versus operating from my heart. I am in constant observation of when I might be operating from my child self out of fear versus my Higher Self out of love. I am constantly starving the “Bad Wolf” and feeding the ever thriving “Good Wolf”.
This is my path. It is an unknown, unwritten path. I am in constant exploration of new adventures. I surrender to the unknown that lies ahead and choose to embrace whatever life brings me next. I choose to walk heart open, heart forward and love more in all aspects of life. Enemy of none, friend of all. Taking full responsibility for my life and how this world affects me.
If you made it this far, thank you. I would love to hear from you, please share your comments about what you have found to be your greatest lessons in life. Please comment below. Aho!